Archive for December, 2009
Father of the Year 2009
I always get a kick out of those moments in life when I pause and say to myself, “Now this is something I never imagined myself doing.” I get a kick out of the quirkier ones, anyway. Not so much ones like, say, passing a kidney stone.
A good example of an unexpected quirky event would be back in October when I had my photo taken with Count Chocula. Another example would be the time I visited a prison as part of my former job. I should stress that my presence at the prison was requested and not court-ordered. I visited to discuss electric utility sorts of issues, and ended up eating lunch in the prison kitchen where my hamburger and fries were prepared by a friendly prison cook. Let’s just say when he finished his shift in the kitchen he did not have a long commute home.
Last night our family was preparing to sit down and enjoy the Pixar movie Ratatouille. I love Pixar movies and was eager to get started. Shelby wandered into the room carrying a pencil and a napkin. Apparently during dinner she had started doing a little math in her head. For lack of a better description, she was going through doubles (two plus two is four, four plus four is eight, etc). She had gotten all the way up to 64 plus 64 is 128 in her head.
(This is where I hope you remember she’s in second grade because I’m not going to mention it so it won’t sound like I’m bragging).
Shelby had taken her napkin to figure out what came next by writing it down. She’d added 128 and 128 to get 256. She’d added 256 and 256 to get 512. By the time she ran out of napkin she’d made it all the way to 131072 plus 131072 equals 262144. (Don’t bother checking the progression yourself; I just did using a spreadsheet). Here’s the napkin:
I didn’t even know she could do that kind of math yet. Her teacher had recently taught the all-important skill of “carrying the one.” Shelby asked me to make up a few more addition problems for her to try, and I did. And then big brother Jacob got in the act. Modesty prevents me from saying that Jacob is himself an excellent math student. Jacob threw a couple of tricks at her and even introduced the subtraction concept of borrowing from your neighbor only to learn that your neighbor is a loser zero and can’t offer much help on his own, but might be willing to discuss the situation with his neighbor.
They were having a grand time. And then it happened. So fast I didn’t even realize what I was doing until the words were out of my mouth.
“OK,” I said. “Just one more problem and then you’ve got to stop so we can start the movie.”
Yes. I am the dad who stopped his children from voluntarily doing math problems during Christmas vacation so they would watch TV with him. By next year I’ll be putting cigarettes under the tree.
Now don’t misunderstand me to be saying I think I’ve been an overall negative influence on my children. But this incident did make me think. George Bailey’s Christmas lesson was that Bedford Falls would have been a mess without him. My Christmas lesson this year is that the days of leading my kids are numbered, because all too soon I’ll only be getting in their way if I try.
Bah humbling.
The Humble Servant
Posted by Mark in The Humble Servant, Uncategorized on December 19th, 2009
When a blogger posts real time commentary regarding a live event it is usually called “live blogging.” I have never blogged live. For one thing, I am not comfortable using “blog” as a verb. The main reason that I do not blog live is that I usually don’t write about things anytime near when they actually happen.
But that changes right now. You could cut the tension with that little cut-and-paste scissor icon hiding somewhere up there in the menu.
The intrepid souls who have been reading The Ark of Mark since it was an email and not a blog will remember a feature called “The Humble Servant.” I would lay out, from personal experience, a series of steps one could take to become more humble. I haven’t done this in the blog until today, as I write about something that just happened a few minutes ago.
(I need something to do for a few minutes while my paintbrush dries out. What I just did right there is known as foreshadowing).
So let’s give a warm welcome to the return of The Humble Servant. As always, follow these steps in order to experience true humility:
- Take advantage of a snowy Saturday afternoon with no place to go by deciding to finish up some painting you’ve been avoiding.
- Turn on some good music and get to work.
- Move to a tricky side of a door jamb that requires cutting in. For those of you non painters out there, I should explain that “cutting in” refers to painting along some kind of interface. For example, one “cuts in” the blue paint on the wall where it butts up against a white door jamb. Cutting in requires patience, practice, a steady hand, and the steely nerves of an amateur blogger.
- Consider proudly that very few people can cut in quite as well as you are doing it. (In today’s example I had even moved to my non-dominant painting hand to get a better angle. I was in the zone).
- Decrease grip on brush handle in order to reduce possibility of a minor hand tremor that could lead to a wayward bristle.
- Lose complete control of brush handle such that brush totally slips out of your hand.
- (This step is an aside to explain that throughout my life I have noticed that I am better than the average person at catching dropped items. So good, in fact, that I once saved a dropped drinking glass by flicking my toe out at the last moment so that the glass glanced safely off my shoe rather than shatter on the floor. Those of you paying attention will detect some more foreshadowing right there).
- Instinctively begin to position hand to catch brush before it hits the floor.
- Inadvertently hit handle of brush such that brush begins cartwheeling in the air and flinging paint droplets in a whimsical pattern.
- Snag brush out of the air by seizing the painted end by the palm of your hand.
- Hurry off to find a wet washcloth to limit the damage, once again a humble servant ready for God to mold.
Let me say Merry Christmas to you all now just in case I don’t get back here before then. I may be too busy cleaning as-yet-unseen paint droplets.
Let me Consult my Dictionary
Thought I would pass along a conversation I overheard the other day.
Shelby: Mom! My leg bruise is changing to a different color!
Laura: What color is it changing to?
Shelby (pauses to inspect bruise closely): Vermillion.