Hey there.
Sorry for the long time between posts. We were on a family vacation last week and I didn’t want to mention it ahead of time in case one of you unscrupulous readers would abuse that information and ransack our house. I’ve heard that has happened to people who use Facebook to tell the world that they are leaving town. So that’s why I’m not on Facebook.
Well, that and my antisocial tendencies. Or maybe it’s just arrogance, considering that I have a blog to tell you what I think but don’t want to do Facebook and see what everybody else is up to.
Because I could not get online at our vacation spot, I have some pent up things I need to share over the course of the next week or so. We’ll start today with a contemplative time I had during a long drive. At one point during the drive a somewhat clunky car passed us. (Please note that when I use the term “clunky” for a car I am speaking as a connoisseur and not in derisive terms. I am the person who once wrote about fixing my drooping SUV door with a chunk of wood and proposed creating a TV show called Scrimp My Ride). Anyway, in the rear window of the car was a bumper sticker that said simply:
FEAR THIS
Now I know the “Fear This” bumper sticker has been around for years. It’s just that last week was my first opportunity to think about it for the amount of quality time afforded by driving mindlessly down an interstate for hours while the rest of the family reads, naps, or watches a portable DVD player. Not that I am bitter.
FEAR THIS
Is that a command, sir? Am I to understand that you are not simply suggesting that I fear this, but intend this as a mandate?
FEAR THIS
And if you are indeed the sort of “take charge” individual who flippantly makes demands from your rear view window, don’t you think the sparkly lettering on the bumper sticker somewhat diminishes the menacing tone you are laboring to establish?
FEAR THIS
And just what specifically am I to fear? The sticker itself? You? The car? Or am I supposed to fear a fate in which I become the sort of person who issues mildly threatening, nebulous warnings using a bumper sticker with a jaunty font?
FEAR THIS
I am a generally accommodating person, and I certainly had the time, so I gave it a shot. I really tried to fear this (any or all of it). I’m sorry to report that strongest emotion I could muster was a mild loathing.