Do you know that feeling when, even if for a fleeting moment, you wish you could assume a different personality?  I certainly do.  Maybe this is why I enjoy sports mascots so much.  I envy a person who can act like a buffoon in public while maintaining the kind of anonymity usually reserved for those, say, writing an obscure blog.

Before we go any further, I need to ask you a question.  Did you see the movie Flashdance?  I don’t remember if I ever actually watched Flashdance, but I definitely remember the video for the song “Maniac” from the movie.  (The Internet tells me it was sung by Michael Sembello, and who am I to argue).  Actually, more important than the movie or the video is whether you are aware of the famous scene where the main character dances with really quick footsteps to that song, and at some point for a reason I cannot recall, a bunch of water splashes down.  I’m not big on pop culture but I think that scene is probably iconic even if the water probably did warp the dance floor.

One reason I think the scene is iconic is because it is entrenched in our culture enough that the inherently funny Chris Farley mimicked it when getting mud hosed off him at a gas station in the movie Tommy Boy.  He quick-stepped in the water and sang “She’s a maniac, MANIAC, on the floor.  And she’s dancin’ like she’s never danced before.”  I laughed out loud.

So yesterday I’m running by myself through downtown Lexington during my lunch hour.  The temperature was mid-eighties and climbing.  Not ideal running weather, but it was the only weather available during my lunch hour.  I looked a block ahead and saw two rather burly fellows wearing city government shirts.  They were standing next to a water truck with garden hoses attached, watering some taxpayer-supported flowers along the sidewalk.  I thought to myself that it would feel good to run through the water spray, and they would probably be mildly amused to have some random citizen jogger ask them to turn their hoses on him.

And that’s when I remembered Chris Farley.

So let me ask you another question.  Imagine you are a burly city government worker standing downtown on a hot day, watering flowers.  Imagine that a random jogger approaches and beckons for you to spray him down.  Somewhat amused, you turn the hose on him, whereupon he starts quick-stepping and sings “She’s a maniac, MANIAC, on the floor.  And she’s dancin’ like she’s never danced before.”

Would that not be one of the funniest things you had ever seen?  Would you not tell every one of your burly government co-workers about the hilarious jogger guy who re-enacted scene where Chris Farley re-enacted the scene from Flashdance?

Please tell me that moment would have made your day.

So this is where I wish I had adopted a different personality for that moment.  As I approached them I only had about three seconds from the time I had the Chris Farley inspiration until I would have had to spring into action.  I hesitated.  What if these guys are so young they don’t even remember Tommy Boy, much less Flashdance?  Suddenly I was upon them.  I threw my arms out to the side, raised my eyebrows, and turned toward them to indicate I was overheated from my run and wanted them to spray me.  One of them did turn the hose my way, but his expression indicated that he couldn’t tell if I was joking or serious.  Discretion being the better part of valor, he decided it was better to assume I was kidding and let me risk heat exhaustion than to risk getting fired because some random jogger sued the city after being waylaid by an unwelcome jet of (what may have been unsanitary pond) water.

So I just smiled in a friendly manner and kept on running.  He smiled and turned back to his flowers.

So now I’m frustrated.  If I were just sufficiently demonstrative I could have at least gotten cooled down.  And if I were even bolder I may well have given at least three people a story they could tell for years.  Alas.

And the worst part is that I’ve had “Maniac” stuck in my head for over twenty-four hours now.

(And I’m dancin’ like I’ve never danced before).