So today I read that Archie of Archie comic book fame is going to propose to Veronica in an issue later this fall.  One wonders if the normally sweet Betty will turn into a bitter hag because of being jilted.  Perhaps Mr. Weatherbee can officiate the wedding.  I imagine a reception with elegant trays piled with carefully arranged Bazooka bubble gum.  Maybe Jughead will even take off that weird crown thing he wears for the ceremony.*

Regardless, it’s sure to be a big day at whatever retirement community they’re all living in now.

*In doing my typical extensive research for this post, I learned that Jughead’s hat is a type of beanie made by taking a man’s fedora and cutting the upturned brim into a sawtooth pattern.  Apparently this was a trend in the 1930s and 1940s.  This type hat was also favored by Goober Pyle on The Andy Griffith Show.  I will leave it to you the reader to decide whether Jughead Jones or Goober Pyle was the more noteworthy wearer of this type of beanie.  If I ever get asked to moderate a presidential debate, this is the sort of question I will throw out there just to test from how great a distance a skilled politico can travel to work in his commitment to working families.

“Mark, that’s a somewhat unusual question there about Jughead or Goober being the more famous wearer of a specific hat.  But any talk of fashion or clothing brings immediately to mind the struggles today’s working familes face when trying to not just clothe, but also to feed and shelter their familes.  To make the paycheck last until the end of the month.  To pay for rising healthcare costs.  That’s why my plan seeks to blah blah blah…”